On the following pages, you can read about the experiences of both former and current students of Colchester Royal Grammar School (CRGS). These have been made public to raise awareness and encourage the school to implement lasting change.

  • If you attended CRGS or CCHS, you can leave an anonymous comment about CRGS at https://forms.gle/EbMGiG17GNy59H39A. Thank you for your bravery.
  • If you are shocked, please subscribe to receive future updates about these allegations: https://forms.gle/AJD8oghusRJWfP5c9
  • If you have been affected by anything you have read, please scroll down to the bottom of this page where you will find a list of places to seek support.
  • Note: Editor added bold/ purple, this was not done by the author. Its purpose is to highlight the key issues raised in each submission.

#201: When I was in year 9 at CCHSG, one of my close friends in my year was dating a boy at CRGS who was a couple of years older. When my friend broke up with him for reasons to do with his manipulative and aggressive nature, this boy decided to aim all of his anger at me because I was “making her happy” which apparently she wasn’t allowed to be. Instead of letting out his feelings in a sensible way, he decided to vent in the DMs of yet another girl in my year. 

His messages about me were extremely aggressive and culminated in him saying “She doesn’t deserve to get off fine for this. I know where she lives. I’ve imagined killing her. It’d be easy”. When the girl he was speaking to called him out on this, saying “leave her alone, no murder”, his response was “Too bad, she deserves it.” I found out about this conversation a few days after it happened (the girl sent me screenshots for my safety) and I was terrified that something would happen to me for the next 4/5 months.

#202: I attended CRGS from 2004-2011 and was subject to sustained racist abuse. I also witnessed, and as I did nothing, partly culpable for the horrific, yet unsurprising endemic sexism in CRGS. Some “highlights” below:

1. After 7/7 in 2005, pupils would openly call me and other brown students ‘terrorists’. Teachers would do nothing if you complained or correct these pupils. XXX MEMBER OF STAFF XXX told me off for retaliating mildly to being told I had a bomb in my bag by another pupil. Absolutely no follow up for multiple incidences of bullying, including being punched in the face during a PE lesson. Pupils often carried their opinions on race from their (let’s face it) wealthy, conservative parents and their colonial attitudes to anyone non-white.

2. Throughout sixth form, there were multiple incidences of teachers and pupils engaging in sexual and gender abuse. Pupils would rate girls out of 10 to their face, put porn on the noticeboards, Year 13 boys would try and get with the “ new recruits” as I remember a peer saying. Male teachers would as many have said, tell pupils they were dressing too provocatively. They never challenged anything that pupils said that was problematic. There were rumours of female students having private images and being drunk and coerced into acts at parties. We were told in year 11 (2009) that girls would only be placed in forms with those who got a certain number of A*’s. As if they were a prize. In the 2011 yearbook; there is a category called ‘most likely to come out’ as if being lgbtq+ is a bad thing or something out of the ordinary.

3. The Head of Sixth form was especially problematic. He would essentially bully pupils in class, give them unflattering nicknames and act like the 1950s Boarding house master he was. In an assembly he told a female student she looked like a man, said if we were lgbtq+ that we should keep that to ourselves (in 2011, fucking hell), would intentionally pronounce my surname wrong for comic effect and gave us a 5 min talk on how black men had bigger penises than white men. I’m so glad he doesn’t teach there anymore. Plenty of teachers were essentially bullies who would pick on boys who were different.

4. There was absolutely no safeguarding measures for pupils going through mental health problems. I had a family member go to hospital and the school were aware how serious it was, right before my AS exams. I received NO support, and they mucked up my Special considerations, saying how they thought I “didn’t need it”.

5. In general, there is a rampant Old school culture of Old Colcesterians that are resistant to change. They treat the school like Eton, when it is a grammar school which should focus on giving pupils of all backgrounds a great education and prepare them for the world. If you come from a rich family and you’re a white cis gender male, then you probably loved it.

I have made amends to those now women that I can recall either saying comments to, and now happily a secondary School teacher who works in safeguarding and mentoring for pupils. My experiences at crgs, which scarred me and made me lose contact with most of my peers, have been channeled into making sure it never happens on my watch.

I have reported them to OFSTED, because all they fucking care about is how many Matts and Wills they can get to Oxbridge and how many average UCAS points they can get by getting boarders from Hong Kong or mainland China. Or if your hairline goes below your collar. That really gets them going. Thanks Scarlett and all the victims who have shared their voice!


#203: (Current Student) Relationships between students in CRGS and CCHSG are very common; boys often share around nudes sent from their girlfriends on group chats or in real life, discussing them like objects and eating what they look like. They’re screenshotted and used for revenge porn, or to manipulate the girl into staying in a toxic relationship. A lot of the boys joke and talk about being violent to the girls they are going out with, with some boys genuinely being physically violent, emotionally manipulative and controlling. The boys that are the problem all find what has come to light as hilarious and ridiculous. It is not.


#204: I attended CRGS and I suppose ignorance of this culture allowed me to have a great time. Hindsight on some of the events I remember, with 10 years of being in the real world, offers an opportunity to reflect on where there were failings.

I would highlight the time when a male student rested his bare genitals on a female sixth former's shoulder. My understanding is that it did not come to much, even though reported to the head of sixth form.

I also think that the perpetuation of using the word "rape" or misogynistic language throughout every year of CRGS was an issue. I would say that in my experience the majority of it was done "tongue in cheek" but this doesn't excuse it and actually gives the green light to those that actual hold those opinions to be more vocal.

A few of use that attended in the same year group recently discussed this and an over-riding consensus was that because 'being a dickhead wasn't challenged so it allowed others to be dickheads leading to a widespread culture of being a dickhead and how much of one could you be'

#205: Sexism, misogyny and rape jokes and actual assault have never gone away. If anything, it has simply gotten worse but girls usually don't tell the guys what is happening so if you bring it up, they will say it's not an issue or they had no idea. Also, girls are encouraged to be rivals with each other which translates into shaming each other for things that are out of their control such as assault, revenge porn etc. It's standard to not report anything to the school because there seems to be an unspoken rule that it's a dont ask, dont tell environment.

#206: When i was in year 8 or year 9 and would get the bus to and from school there was a group of crgs boys in the same year who sometimes sat near me. At least once one of them would ask if i wanted to have sex with another one of them. Although they were joking around it still made me very uncomfortable. There was also crgs boys on the bus who would talk about how two women being together was unnatural and that two women shouldn't raise a child together etc.


#207: I attended CRGS for sixth form, having come from CCHS. The school was rife with racism, homophobia, and misogyny, and while I did end up with a great group of friends, the toxic atmosphere marred my experience.

I was one of a very few black students in my cohort, and was a victim of multiple racist remarks by an English teacher, one of which included comparisons to Frankenstein's monster.

A boy of Asian descent in the year above was gifted a rice farmer's hat and a bag of rice as a secret santa gift.

The same English teacher repeatedly mistook a boy who had attended the school from Year 7 as an international student from Hong Kong.

As many others have said, there were several instances of sexual assault at parties which were played for laughs. At one party I passed out, and came round to find a CRGS boy trying to make out with me as I had my head in a bucket of my own vomit.

In my first week, a boy thought it appropriate to mention in front of a class that he had been checking out my arse.

A friend and I were once even catcalled by Year 7 boys as we walked across the playground.

Girls were labelled sluts if they had sex, and bitches if they didn't. There were "rankings" that went round on Twitter, and boys would take covert pictures of girls eating, and then photoshop them to make them explicit. As far as I know, nothing was done about this.

I often overheard boys making derogatory and fatphobic comments about girls. Even some of the guys whom I was friendly with and thought were decent made incredibly sexist comments such as saying a girl in the year below us had "blowjob lips" (he was a senior prefect at this time), and another said he hoped a girl would be killed because she didn't fancy him back.

I never felt I could speak up about these incidents at the time for fear of being labelled both a feminazi and an angry black woman.

Thanks Scarlett for writing this piece, and it's both heartening to know I wasn't as crazy as I felt back then, and incredibly disappointing to read that so many others went through and are still going through such horrible and traumatic experiences.

#208: A boy in the year above me pulled out a pocket knife on the playground and threatened me with it. The school didn’t even punish him when I reported it to them.


#209: Safe to say I did not enjoy my time at CRGS. Not all elements were bad and there were some really good teachers (two in particular) - but the pervasive lad/old boys culture was inescapable and felt on a daily basis. I encountered sexism from one teacher in particular, who obviously did not want girls at the school and certainly did want us to have an opinion. He would try and catch me out in every single lesson, always putting me on the spot and trying to ask a question I didn’t know the answer to (unlucky for him I knew my stuff). Something which had previously been my favourite subject became an anxiety-ridden ordeal that I dreaded.

The culture in general was unbelievably toxic and fostered an environment where the girls were all pitted against each other and formed ‘mean girls’ style cliques as a result (essentially based on who the boys wanted to have sex with). To name a few things that went on:

- Having a ranking system for all girls out of 10 who they wanted to have sex with.
- Derogatory nicknames for all the girls.
- Completed unfounded and constant slut shaming.
- Shouting and abuse every time a girl walked in or out of the common room accompanied by throwing objects.
- There was one very christian girl in my year, a guy in the year above started dating her and later we found out it was a bet to see if he could have sex with her.
- Comments on any clothing we wore - from both teachers and students.
- Being pulled aside on multiple occasions (by the same teacher mentioned above) and being shamed for holding my bf’s hand at school. Of course, my bf was never pulled aside.
- Getting scapegoated for something that my male friends had done in class - and being told to stay behind in assembly in front of the whole year just for some extra humiliation.
- Despite my good grades, being told that I should be aiming lower with my university applications. I got into the university he discouraged me from applying to.

Despite the fact that, based on the other comments I’ve read, I got off lightly - I left CRGS pretty traumatised. My self-esteem and confidence took a massive hit and I went through a dark phase of depression towards the end of my second year. It’s taken me quite a few years to really get over it and finally start letting go of the resentment I formed whilst attending the school.

Thank you to everyone else who has left these comments. It often felt like I was so alone, but it’s a (strange) comfort to know that others had a similar experience to me. I’m so glad this toxic environment is finally being exposed.


#210: Attending '11'-13 after being at CCHS, it was common practice for boys to be seen as the superior members of the school community. A general attitude of the girls being privileged to be allowed to be a part of the school, and therefore they should accept the school as it came or go somewhere else. Whilst there I didn't consider it to be a particularly toxic environment at the time, having now experienced other mixed educational environments and with almost a decade of time to look back, I wouldn't ever want anyone to experience something similar. My confidence level in my own ability shrivelled over the two years and a feeling of keep your head down and you wont be the target. I regret not standing up in situations that were obviously wrong, but when the people in positions of responsibility are inevitably going to side with the others, its difficult to put yourself in the line of fire.


#211: I have read these comments and come to the realisation that the culture we allowed ourselves to accept was indeed toxic. In my year the popular sporty boys were the ones that were given the majority of the senior prefect positions and the school captain position. I can recall multiple racist, homophobic and misogynistic comments. These were heard everywhere around school. 

The one incident that I can recall with absolute clarity was from when I was new to the school in year 12. I was working in the downstairs classroom in Gurney benham and there were some year 13 boys in there too, one of them started rubbing himself in an obvious way and then deliberately stood next to me with a very obvious erection. His friends found it hilarious and at the time I accepted this as banter as they made it clear if I reported them none of the teachers would believe me. 

Something else I remember was the headteacher joining in a joke about rape in front of my entire year. I'm really glad you have given us the opportunity to reflect on our time at school. Like many others, I arrived as a confident outgoing young woman and left feeling broken. I hope the school makes changes so that others don't have the same shitty experience that I did.


#212: I recently attended crgs 6th form and was sexually abused frequently, mostly by the “popular boys”, some of whom became prefects. It was seen almost as our price of admission to a school that isn’t even good. One boy, in particular, would sometimes pretend to walk backwards and “accidentally” grab me. I would always report these to the 6th form head who would tell me he’d “look into it”, but nothing would be done. He would, in fact, suggest the length of my skirt was the reason, despite it meeting standards. He suggested that getting a longer skirt would stop it from happening again. Knowing full well what I had gone through, in one interaction with him, he came too close to me, looked down on me and again, asked me if my skirt was the right length. I said yes, and he looked over my shoulder to my backside for some time, said “hmm”, then left. I’ve seen other girls here mention him, so I’m glad he’s being exposed as the creep he is.


#213:  I was at CCHS with my partner at CRGS. I looked young for my age, others in his year teased him that I was a Year 7 and he was a paedophile. His year had rated my appearance and I had a nickname based on this. He told me that a disabled pupil was routinely physically and verbally bullied, even tied up on more than one occasion, I was appalled but he voiced the opinion that this kind of bullying was helpful to toughen people up - where did that idea come from? I wish I had told an adult about it (although could the teachers really all have been unaware?), and I hope this person has since had support to deal with what must have been an intensely traumatic period. I feel this is relevant because it shows a lack of respect for autonomy and dignity based on perceived difference.

I remember that homophobia, transphobia, misogyny, policing of femininity, and turning people’s rights into a debate, were all endemic attitudes in the school’s culture. I also heard about ‘Dark Fridays’ and the ‘debate’ about raping babies. My partner’s values became more and more in line with this culture with every year he attended the school, and he was abusive towards me after we’d left, as I see from the comments happened with at least one other person’s partner from CRGS. When I actually was a Year 7, i.e. 11 years old, a boy in a senior year made sexual comments about my outfit at the prom. A close friend of mine was coerced into a sex act at a party with a CRGS boy. Nothing I’ve heard here has surprised me, it’s shocked me but it fits with what I’ve experienced. I was scared to comment in case I could be identified.


#214:  I attended CCHSG for 5 years and then CRGS for 2 years. Having reflected on this post all day, I thought I’d leave a comment. Though the author is clearly an aspiring writer, keen to make noise and has achieved this, I still feel that it’s important that the “noise” is given a counter view. I’d first like to say that there are many women who have been to CRGS that don’t agree with most of this article. There are also many thousands of good men who have been educated at CRGS, who are being collectively shamed in this article that are doctors, dentists, entrepreneurs, bankers, lawyers the list goes on. Men who are wonderful fathers, husbands, sons, and friends. Men who aren’t rapists, don’t do inappropriate things to women and aren’t misogynistic.

I agree that in today’s society, there are some men who don’t know how to treat women appropriately and this is largely driven by the porn industry and social media. I agree that there should be more sex education in schools for both boys and girls and this needs to include consent and what constitutes sexual harassment and abuse.

The minority of boys that choose to behave in this manner do not do so because of a “rape culture” in the school, they behave like this because they are being influenced by the wider society. The key word there being “minority”- most boys who attend CRGS don’t do that and have never done that. Most boys in schools all over the UK, don’t do that either.

There is also a minority of girls that behave inappropriately towards boys and I’m sure if you asked the boys the very same question, they too could come up with a list. I distinctly remember ranking the boys in order of attractiveness, commenting on their clothing and I probably kissed boys at a club that wished they hadn’t kissed me the next day! Does this make me an abuser? Part of the “rape culture”? I certainly hope not!

I also take issue with the term “rape culture” as I think it undermines anyone who has actually experienced the horrific act of rape. Many of the comments on this article are things that people have heard from someone else – Chinese whispers in themselves. Many of the comments are from people who know someone who went to CRGS. Shockingly, many of these posts are from people who are getting drunk at the age of 15 or 16 – that’s not ok either.

I am sure that in the 23 years that CRGS has been accepting girls that there have been inappropriate incidences, things that pupils and staff alike could have handled better but that’s true of anything in life.

The teachers at CRGS are second to none. They are wonderful, caring, hardworking individuals that go over and above to help the pupils succeed in all areas of life, not just academically. The head of 6th form when I was there was fantastic. Though many people didn’t like him, the truth was, his only crime was honesty. I remember him telling me that one particular university wasn’t realistic. That wasn’t him being misogynistic, he was honest, and he was right. I remember him saying that we should, “cut our coat according to our cloth” – a phrase I’ve often thought of over the years.

There are many girls, all over the UK and throughout the world that have experienced terrible things at the hands of both boys and men. This comment does in no way condone that abhorrent behaviour and the long term affects of those behaviours. CRGS, along with all schools in England, should absolutely clamp down on behaviours like this and it should definitely be talked about more.

As a mother of three boys, I would send all of them to CRGS if they were fortunate enough to gain a place and as a mother of a daughter, I would be thrilled for her to attend the 6th form there. Whether this fact identifies me or not, I do not care. CRGS is an inspiring place, one of excellence. My time at CRGS, though over a decade ago now, was brilliant. I met many fantastic men and women there.

Editors note: I debated whether to post this - but it took me only a second to decide to - yes, I completely agree not every boy was terrible, but so few of them stood up to the culture that it made them complicit. I'm not saying the women in the school were innocent - we certainly were not, but the culture we were in made it hard to be anything but complicit. Please read the following response: here.


#215: As a male student, I experienced the culture of extreme toxic masculinity from the day I arrived at the school at age 11 right until the day I left. It was a specific group of the cool kids, including almost all of the rugby team, cricket team, and their mates. Big group though - maybe 10% of the year group. In addition to all the rape jokes, the racism, the constant sexism, and the truly repulsive "edgy" jokes detailed in these submissions (many of which I saw personally and immediately recognized when I read them), when people found out I was gay at 15 I received death threats from boys in my year and the year above me for "tricking them into knowing a faggot" by not "acting gay." I hadn't been particularly unpopular before that and kept to myself and my friend group, but after that it got to the point where I knew if one specific group were throwing a house party because there would be a death threat on my voicemail. It seemed to just be what they did at house parties - get drunk and call me up to tell me they were going to rape me to death.


#216: I was a student from 2007-14, while I have since come out at Non-Binary this was not something I realised at the time. 

CRGS is a fucked up place in so many ways. It takes (overwhelmingly white and middle class) 11-year-old boys, and spends 5 years telling them that they're the best and their value is solely tied to their intelligence or sporting ability. Meanwhile, among students, worth was also tied pretty closely to 'how far you'd been with a girl'. 

During this time a lot of us didn't really have any meaningful contact with women outside of family, so there was very little to offset the atmosphere of lad culture and toxic masculinity. That's how misogyny, racism, classism, and queerphobia end up so engrained in the culture. 

Given all this, it's horrendous but not surprising that sexual harassment and assault was (and is) so widespread when female students are admitted in 6th form. Personally, I spent the first 5 years at the school with no friends and struggling with undiagnosed depression and autism. I was almost exclusively referred to by an insulting nickname (to the point that some people didn't know my real name). I spent my 6th form years struggling to come to terms with my queerness and learning to use humour to deflect the continuous low-level homophobia around the school. I think it's telling that I was one of maybe 3 openly queer people in my year just 7 years ago. Looking back on my time at the school I'm both saddened by how I suffered from that toxic place, and ashamed of the ways I was complicit in that behaviour.


#217: I consider myself among the more fortunate attendees of CRGS, since I did not personally experience anything beyond the low-level harassment of boys who had barely spoken to me calling me "Sweetie" and pushing my boundaries in conversation, or making comments about why sports bras were unattractive when sitting behind me (I often wore sports bras and someone sitting behind me could very likely tell that I was). However, I witnessed many far more troubling behaviours (casual and at times extreme racism, sexism, and homophobia for which there were no ramifications for the perpetrators) during my time that I will not share here as they happened to others and are hence not my stories to share.


#218: I was a student at the girls school. The boys from CRGS all got on the same bus. They would steal my shoes and throw them and empty my bag out on the floor. They were entitled and rude. I attended a CRGS disco when I was in year 7 as everyone else did. I ended up leaving early and barefoot because the boys tripped me out my shoes and threw them over a wall. I ended up moving schools but since the disco I got a different bus or walked to school as I was so scared of the CRGS boys.


#219 [Under Russell's SLT]: In year 9 when I was just 14 I was sexually assaulted by one of the boys and they would feel entitled to comment on girls bodies and would make fun of us for having ‘no curves’ or being ‘flat’ in year 9, when most girls are still developing, and they also would spread nudes and show them to each other at lunchtimes even of their girlfriends.


#220: CRGS boys that currently attend the school turn around on the bus and harass the cchsg girls, rating them on their appearance, asking them to define sexual terms and mocking their conversations. They bullied a girl for her religion, asking her to explain parts of the bible that they found stupid and when she could not answer, insulting her intelligence. They also called a boy within their friendship group gay as a running joke as he had a slightly higher pitched voice than them. I no longer get on that bus because I’m scared of what those boys will say or do to me and I hope that the other girls are okay.


#221: I only attended until Y11 so I can't share any experiences regarding girls in the sixth form, as I didn't really interact with any sixth formers at all. However, I can definitely attest that when I attended the school, having done my GCSEs in the early 2010s, there was a horrific culture of homophobia, sexism, racism, machismo of all sorts, anti-semitism, bullying - pretty much any type of toxicity you can think of under the sun. 

I am ashamed to say that I, too, participated in many of these elements, whether through jokes that I now cringe at, or 'smart' comments made under my breath. Extremely rarely was I, or anyone else, challenged on any of this by adults at the school, despite much of this behaviour taking place openly. 

As someone who is now training to be a teacher, it's quite frankly shocking to think back to my time at CRGS, especially as I am training in a selective school with a similar focus on academic excellence. The difference is like night and day - although of course, with the benefit of nine years of wider social change.

It doesn't have to be like this - and thankfully it seems the wind is finally changing direction on these topics. Thanks for giving us all an opportunity to speak about our experiences.


#222: I joined CRGS as one of only a few new boys in my year, along with a lot more girls. I had my own mental health issues which were badly handled by the school. In my previous school, they had a dedicated counsellor, but at CRGS I was told to make more of an effort to fit in and basically told me to "man up". My small group of friends at CRGS were from a very diverse group, and I can't honestly say that I witnessed the racism against my friends that is listed here. This isn't to say it didn't happen, but maybe it was more prevalent in lower school? I did, however, witness a lot of anti-semitism. It was deployed very regularly in jokes and general conversation. It was shocking, as this and any form of racism would have been taboo at my previous comprehensive. 

I was aware of relationships between the boys and the girls in sixth form, hearing about very messy breakups and drink fueled public sexual interactions; but these were similar stories to what I heard from the mixed sixth form college, which is not to excuse this, but to suggest it is everywhere. The girls in my classes were few, I studied STEM, but they did not appear to be treated differently and everyone appeared to get on well. Lower school students I overheard or met on the bus had very crude, sexist and sexualised attitudes towards women. These attitudes were also present in my secondary school, but I feel that there they were rarer and less sexist in nature.

I don't deny anything that is written here, but I wasn't aware of the scope and scale of things. If I had been in a better state of mind then I would probably have been more aware of what was going on and I regret that I wasn't in a position to help. There was a level of toxic masculinity that I wasn't used to coming from a mixed comprehensive. Discussions in form group were often very sexual and foul, in a way I feel wouldn't have happened if there was a large contingent of girls there, or the boys had been more used to interacting with girls in healthy, benign ways; i.e. they had mixed classes from year 7. As mentioned above, these conversations also happened at my secondary school, but not in such a normalised way.

The move to accept girls appears to have been a power move by the school in the late 1990s. There appears to have been no financial or structural need to do this and the interactions between CRGS and the CCHSG soured, often with the best academic females from the county high school choosing to go to CRGS. No wonder CRGS students think they are the best if girls from the rival grammar chose CRGS over their own dedicated school. Girls, and boys like me, moved to CRGS on the thinking that they stood a better chance of getting into Oxbridge. And we might have been right. But this is a reflection on the whole rotten system. Poorer students are hugely underrepresented in Grammar schools, you can do a very good job coaching/buying your way through the 11+. Grammar kids act most elite as the system tells them they are smarter and they are usually richer than the rest of society; the system is there to set them apart so we shouldn't be surprised when we see elitist attitudes. 

More equitable education systems do not have grammar schools, and they have far fewer prestigious and powerful private schools. It might be time to question why CRGS and Eton (etc.) still exist, what purpose are they serving and what damage is their existences doing to the life chances of students in the schools around them? Everyone on this forum is guilty, through their own choice or their families, in perpetuating an elitist system that might well be a breeding ground for the attitudes outlined in these posts. I cannot join the OC's because I cannot accept that they should exist. I am far from surprised that OC members express elitist views, the OC society is built on elitism.

The stories here are shocking and I believe the toxic male attitudes to be more prevalent in a school such as CRGS than in mixed and comprehensive schools. But this is also largely based on anecdotes right now (the stories of individual teacher's actions need to be investigated). These attitudes exist throughout society, in all schools, and we need to have a better idea of the driving factors behind these attitudes before pointing the finger at CRGS as being different. It's quite clear to see that this is just the tip of the iceberg.


#223: I went to CCHS between 2003-2010. A friend of mine had a CRGS boyfriend for 2 of those years. In the early days and in private she said he was a good partner, but in front of his friends he felt the need to call her derogatory names, imply she was clingy, and boast about real and imagined sexual acts. His friends always encouraged this behaviour, and as he "matured" he became controlling, jealous and aggressive.

The worst incident was when a girl in our year had inappropriate photos taken of her at a party when she was unconscious. These were shared widely among multiple year groups at both schools. The narrative among all CRGS and, more depressingly, some CCHS students that I spoke to was that she had it coming and was at risk of ruining the career of a bright talented lad, and shame on her for overreacting.

I declined my offer at CRGS sixth form after getting to know more of my future male peers at a so-called Welcome Event. They were already starting to "call shotgun" on who got to have who as a girlfriend. Apparently, our interest was pre-assumed and also irrelevant. I consider myself lucky to have escaped before it was too late.


#224: CCHSer here. CRGS boys were widely known for being sexist as well as proud of their status, finding the upmost pleasure at the expense of others, obviously with the exception of some students but these boys who were the exception were in the minority. I was sexually assaulted by a CRGS sixth-former at a party whilst passed out and instead of being seen as a bad thing, it was instead a source of amusement to the boys which made me feel like I shouldn’t have felt as bad about it as I did and prevented me from ever reporting it. In the last few years, I found out that the boy who did this went on to sexually assault another girl I knew as part of a group from CRGS within the same year as my assault. Many of the boys I knew made sexist comments and jokes at the expense of women as well as homophobic and racist comments and slurs too and when called out would mark you as a sensitive/angry feminist. Jokes about dead/murdered babies seemed to be the in thing too at the time. I’m appalled but not shocked that this appears to be much more of a CRGS culture and ongoing experience than limited to my school years as I first thought.


#225 [Under Mr Russells SLT]: At the start of year 12, we (a group of boys) were rating the attractiveness of female students, and the (current) head of sixth form joined in, commenting on their "proportions".
 
The staff don't do anything to dispel this behaviour, but even encourage it so much that it becomes normalised. It was only after I left the school that I realised how sick we were, and the school did not do their duty to teach us how to properly behave, nor did they protect their female students.

I am aware that even this etiquette contributed to the larger issue and am sorry for that. I'm appalled at the behaviour of myself and my peers, but also that of the head of sixth form who still works at the school and had worked at a girls-only school (ages 11-19) prior to that. I have reason to believe that students from there may have something to say about this member of staff.


#226: I regularly was beaten, bullied and humiliated to the point where I attempted suicide. My accusers acted with impunity and continued to harass me publicly even after I left the school. I was from a working class family and earned my place on merit. I was targeted even in classrooms in front of teachers who did nothing to intervene. This school is toxic from top to bottom and whatever educational advantages I received were outweighed by mental anguish and lasting anger and trust issues that still have not healed. I have chosen until now to bury my feelings and not to speak up as I was ignored and told there was no issue at the time. My loving partner helped me to see the damage this had done to me and I told her details that had never been revealed to anyone which had filled me with shame and self-loathing and led to depression and alcohol problems. I have begun to heal and deal with suppressed anger which nearly ruined my life. I hope that everyone comes forward who experienced this and finally the victims will be heard. Too many of the bullies and abusers have been allowed to live successful lives and forget the damage they caused. I will never be the same person I was before. They broke me and it is only through time and the love of a wonderful person that I can start to heal.


#227: I've been reflecting a lot on my time at CRGS in the weeks following me first viewing this article, and the corresponding testimonies and a lot of very problematic incidents have come to mind, some of which I will share here.

First, I was recently looking through the yearbook for my class, which was run by a panel of students, although the deputy head had the power to veto anything in it. The end of year awards really jumped out at me when I was looking through this. Among other problematic awards was a "rear of the year" award, for which many girls, whose appearance were frequently and inappropriately commented on by boys in the year, were highly voted for. There are also a series of pictures of societies at CRGS, many of which were invented last minute to give "humorous" names to group photos. One of these, which I recall the deputy head thankfully vetoed (though no other consequences occurred for the students involved) was a photo of a group of white, light-haired students named "AryanSoc".
 
Second, the teachers were frequently extremely sexist (although this does not apply to all of them). An elderly teacher of further mathematics at A-level frequently commented on how women were not suited to do maths (to a class of mostly boys, besides me and another girl, so that we did not feel comfortable speaking up- I should also note that even if they expressed sympathy to us afterwards, none of the boys spoke up at the time either). A teacher of General Studies also delivered a random poll in one of his classes that was entirely unrelated to the material asking each girl in the class to write on a piece of paper how many children she wanted. I felt extremely uncomfortable with giving this personal information to a teacher, and for the fact that none of the boys were asked the same question. 


Support
Note: If you are a child and need help, whether you're currently experiencing sexual abuse or have experienced it in the past, please reach out to the NSPCC if you feel comfortable. Further, you can also report a crime to the Essex Police or call 101.  

For adults, if you need support, you can also contact the police or you can reach out to mental health organisations Suffolk Mind or Essex Mind. Alternatively, contact the Essex Centre for Action on Rape & Abuse or Suffolk Rape Crisis. You can also give anonymous intelligence to The Ferns in Ipswich to help the police with future cases if you feel uncomfortable pressing charges yourself. 

Note, I have personally used both the services of Suffolk Rape Crisis and The Ferns and highly recommend them as super-friendly and approachable organisations!


Colchester Royal Grammar School (CRGS)
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